travel | writerundle

On a College Campus Again…

15 Jul 2017 1 Comment

by writerundle in Ashland University MFA, awareness, freedom, journey, MFA Creative Writing, writing Tags: awareness, freedom, journey, MFA, travel, writing

Starting Monday I will be offering up my poems for workshop in an MFA Summer Residency. This is the second of three summers, the cornerstone of a program that pushes us all to improve as writers.

I feel that my writing is becoming more personally resonant and more open. There is more freedom as I sit down to write. Last semester, my class engaged in discussion about self-censorship and why it is essential that we not censor our words in our writing. There are no longer “off-limit” topics. If there was a topic that I avoided, I am forcing myself to go there and write about difficult subjects, characters, and events.

Writing is an art and it is therapy. You might call it “free therapy,” but anyone who writes knows that in reality there is a cost to laying yourself bare on the page. Writing digs deep into our human emotions. Not to mention the fact that poems are meant to be read aloud, and reading aloud in workshop or on stage such raw poems is tough.

Step by step. I will start with the writing and the workshopping process. Later, I’ll step my toes into the process of sharing with an audience: submitting to publications and reading aloud in public.

Art is emotion and it can be hard to wrap your brain around sharing it with the world.

But, this is why we write, and especially why we are in an MFA program.

We are taking steps to share our experience.

Road Trip Underground

16 Jun 2017 Leave a comment

by writerundle in freedom, journey, road trip, travel, Uncategorized Tags: freedom, travel

The last Tuesday in May was ideal for a road trip. The semester break gave me the day off both school and work, and my boyfriend requested the evening off. The weather was sunny and warm. We had the freedom to go where we pleased.

When my boyfriend asked me where I wanted to go, I replied, “Ohio Caverns.” I had never been there, but the website and a brochure I’d been eyeing looked enticing. The temperature stays 54 degrees according to their site, which features a video. http://www.ohiocaverns.com

The drive was short, about an hour from our home base of Westerville, Ohio. As we pulled into the parking lot we noticed the sheltered picnic area was teeming with students, and their bus was from central Ohio. In my head, I said a quick prayer that they would not be in our group touring the caves. Luckily, they had a separate reservation, and I deduced this field trip must be going on the “Historic Tour,” which was a different cave section than the tour we went on, the “Natural Wonder Tour.”

After browsing at the gift shop, it was time for our tour to begin. A lovely college-age lady was our tour guide. The group was six strong, only three couples. When we entered the cave the tour guide said, “Your eyes will adjust to the dark.” There were some small sconces added to the cave to allow electric light.

Rust Formations

The tour guide turned the lights on as we entered each area, and she turned them off behind us. We were in for a real shock as she said she was about to turn all the lights off. For about two seconds, we stood in pitch dark. “This is how dark a cave really is.”

The cave was devoid of animal life, but the rocks were alive. The crystals forming above us dripped icy water on our heads. Moss was growing in a few spots, looking like wiry green hairs all in parallel. Once we had seen a few stalagmites, stalactites, the guide pointed out some “columns” which are crystals formed all the way from the top to the bottom.

I never experienced darkness that was so illuminating.

Unpacking Baggage

11 Feb 2016 Leave a comment

by writerundle in awareness, freedom, Greece, journey, moving, travel Tags: awareness, freedom, Greece, journey, moving, travel

As recently as my trip to Greece, I was reminded that I carry too much baggage with me. 022

As we departed Greece and sat in the airport in Munich, I was the one who was lugging a thirty-pound backpack carry-on. The other few members of the group also with me in Germany were smarter travelers. They had small totes and daypack excursion backpacks that I would guess only weighed a maximum of ten or fifteen pounds. Why couldn’t I be that carefree?

At the end of the evening’s dancing the waiter at the restaurant Archodissa in the island of Thasos picked up my backpack and handed it to me. You absolutely must visit if you get to travel to the Greek islands of the Aegean Sea! He asked me, with the usual Greek charm, “Is this full of rocks?” No, I wasn’t packing my bag full of rocks and pebbles from the marble quarry. It was mostly full of things that I brought from home. First, I packed my antiquated laptop that ended up only lasting two hours without battery power, so I was tethered to a power outlet most of the trip if I was ready to type up new works or edit poems. After the laptop, I carried a notebook for scribbling on the go, two books I was reading for class, and a water bottle. The rest was filled with who knows what. It doesn’t sound heavy, but trust me, I felt like I was carrying a military issued backpack. At the airport it hindered me the most. I felt my back straining.

Fast forward to moving day into a new apartment the final week of October. I packed all my books, keepsakes, and papers in boxes. Putting solely my clothes in the master bedroom allowed me to realize that I have too much stuff. Yet, the moving process was swift, and I only did a quick sort as I packed. My boyfriend and I got rid of three large bags of clothes before the move. Then, as moving day arrived suddenly, he simply packed all the remaining shoes and clothes into plastic totes and I packed my shoes and clothes into suitcases.

Once arriving at our new place, the first place that is ours together, we both realized we each had a lot of baggage. The pile of suitcases taunted me for weeks. I realized that I was getting along fine without even opening most of the suitcases. I was not ready to handle my baggage. To do so I would have to put some summer clothes into the back of the master bedroom closet that has a large storage area of three-foot tall steps.

Cue the closet’s florescent light to flicker and finally burn out. A dark closet was a good excuse not to handle my baggage. Tuesday my apartment’s maintenance man came over and replaced the light. Excuses gone, I have to make progress. It still is a process, because who wants to try on tank tops in the winter? However, I am aware that the accumulation of clothes that I don’t wear taking up space doesn’t contribute to the flow of creativity.

Yesterday, my boyfriend hung the mirror above my dresser. Baby steps.

My baggage won’t define me. The action I take in this moment defines me.

Quitting is no longer a dirty word

03 Feb 2016 Leave a comment

by writerundle in awareness, blessings, family, freedom, journey, time travel, travel, Uncategorized Tags: awareness, freedom, journey, time travel, travel

The act of quitting was always discouraged as I was growing up.

If you start something, you see it through to fruition. When you start a sport, you continue it for the entire season. I attributed the act of quitting to a character weakness. You didn’t want to be the person who quit their job every six months. You didn’t want to be the one who kept quitting one hobby after another, purchasing the gear for each activity, which became simply wasteful junk in the closet.

I grew up thinking that the word “quit” should not be in my vocabulary. I grew up always viewing my ultimate strength as being genuinely committed and dedicated. I did not quit. I was committed and dedicated to every sport, choir, theatre production, job and friendship I was a part of.

However, there have been several key moments in my life that were punctuated by quitting.

Once you are ready to make the decision to end something you finally see it is time to give yourself the gift of freedom. To earn your own freedom you have to cut all the puppet-strings. The time came for me to find my own freedom. I had to quit my job because I had to go back to my original dream. I have always wanted to be a writer. I am not sure when I talked myself into becoming a teacher. I suppose halfway through college it crossed my mind.

After graduation I felt such disappointment and failure; after job searching all over central Ohio I discovered that all a four-year bachelor’s degree in English qualified me for was to be a pre-school teacher. Once hired, I even started taking night classes to earn a two-year associates degree focused on Early Childhood Education. It was a slap in the face that I was teaching in the pre-school room. I enjoyed it for a while, but I was putting a false smile on my face when I worked long hours teaching literacy to 3 and 4 year olds. My life was spinning in such a rush. I adapted to become the one that multi-tasked the educational and emotional needs of my students. Being a college student was nothing compared to the responsibility of shaping young minds. The majority of my colleagues were mothers, but I didn’t have such hands-on experiences. I quit the job because it overwhelmed me and stressed me out beyond control. Needless to say, several weeks where I worked 10-12 hour workdays covering extra shifts were the nail in the coffin in this decision.

Fast-forward to 2014 and I made a similar decision. Teaching high school English for seven years was so rewarding and I really did feel more comfortable in the role every year. But the beginning of year eight it felt more and more that it was not my true purpose. I taught the fall semester, but I knew that I would not be able to finish the year out. Deep contemplation in December 2014 helped me realize that I had to leave the school district. I needed to quit my job as a teacher in order to return to my original life dream. As a very young girl, I knew I wanted to be a writer. I always dreamed of following in the footsteps of the writers whose books I enjoyed.

So, I have quit teaching.

But maybe someday I will teach again, in a different way.

It is always a possibility that I would choose to teach.

I have quit, but it is only follow my true purpose. I am a writer: unpaid, fledgling, emerging writer. Someday very soon I will be more. For now I can sleep at night because I have found part-time meaningful employment 25 hours a week. As a teacher I consistently worked well beyond 50 hour weeks. I may have quit the salary, benefits, and pension that would cause many people to stay in the teaching profession until they retire. But I don’t care about fancy things, so I can adapt to living on a fraction of my previous salary.

If it gives me more free time to write, then it is God’s will.

Leaving teaching helped me earn freedom that I have only known the summer before my senior year at college when I chose to not have a summer job so that I could write. Other than the summers of 2001 and 2015, I have always been some combination of student and worker bee.

The realization had to come through teaching. I can only explain it in that while I was teaching the students to follow their dreams I realized I had to take my own advice. Teaching reminded me to follow my true purpose: writing my story.

Back to the Future

29 Sep 2015 Leave a comment

by writerundle in awareness, Back to the Future, Chasing Life, journey, retro, time travel, travel Tags: awareness, Back to the Future, Chasing Life, journey, retro, time travel, travel

“Being here I’ve realized what my final chapter is. It’s this” were the words spoken on tonight’s episode of Chasing Life. The main character, who is once again battling cancer, has decided to go to Italy and spend time dedicated to writing her book. Her book is her story, her memoir of all the gritty tough moments that she has struggled with and continues to struggle with. She watches a sunset and comes to accept her own mortality, saying, “I could die here…literally.”

The writers of Chasing Life have a way of saying all the things that we don’t want to dwell upon. After all, her mother is a therapist. The script is an offering of group therapy for all who tune in to watch it. For some of us, the moments she has to spend in the hospital cut too close to the bone. While it may be hard to watch, the series is focused on its message. It tells you to keep fighting for your life. It tells you to embrace your own story and to share it.

Back to the Future…1995

If I was cast in a new version of the Michael J. Fox classic, I would blast back to an idyllic time: 1995.

I would see victory in the form of electric energy. I would watch myself from the wings as my younger self performed a monologue holding a snake moments after it hissed at me from its cage. Under the theatre’s lights, the snake calmed and slinked around my arms and shoulders. I would see myself shooting a cap gun during the spring musical to make the sound effects for the scene with a fake gun. I would see myself sing and dance as part of the choir to a packed audience. I would see fearlessness.

I would watch my defeat when I put myself on the line. I would watch myself play my longest tennis match ever, fighting over every game, tied and tied again at deuce. I would see fighting back tears of exhaustion as I lost and shook my opponent’s hand over the net. I would watch myself run the second leg of the 4 x 100 at an indoor track meet, drop the baton, and step outside the lines to cause my team’s forfeit. I would work twice as hard the next time I was given the opportunity to be part of a relay to ensure the handoffs were near perfection.

That is what life is in the theatre, the tennis court, the track, and the classroom: it is glimpses of near perfection. It is hard work to get to the place you have dreamed and dreamed and dreamed. High school is where you decide what you will do next to make your dreams come true. After you graduate, it is up to you to motivate yourself every day to achieve your dreams.

Back to the Future…2015.

My future chapter is full of blank pages. What is next? I really don’t know. I am okay with the uncertainty. After all, every day I am traveling along an uncertain path. All I know is that every day, I write another page of the future chapter.

Write. Edit. Repeat.

Back to the Present

22 Sep 2015 3 Comments

by writerundle in awareness, journey, moving, time travel, travel Tags: awareness, journey, moving, time travel, travel

Since my summer sojourn to foreign lands, I have adopted a new mantra: “Find joy in the present moment.” Also, I have been ambitious about balancing several goals and taking the actions needed to be successful. I feel a renewed sense of motivation and aspiration. I have landed a new job. I have applied and been accepted into a new apartment residence. I have opted to turn everything on its head.

Yet, I glance at my writing and see that I am still focused on the past. All day long, I am living my mantra. It is a challenge to stay in the moment. I am finding joy.

Fall 2006 visit to the “Butler Institute of American Art” in Youngstown, Ohio

Today, I set myself in front of a blank screen and I write. The time I spend lost in writing is my favorite part of the day. Whether it is a blank page of my journal or a blank document on my computer, I relish sharing my voice onto the page. I do my best to craft my inner thoughts down in a meaningful way.

Today, I enjoy speaking with parents, grandparents, and children of all ages at my job. I continue to learn new things every day on the job. I walk a few miles at work during my shift. My new job has me on my feet all day. I enjoy the exercise that is easily built into my day.

Today, I make time for a nap. Today, during my free time I relax.

Today, I make time to eat healthy meals. My dinner includes salmon and salad.

Today, I speak to my boyfriend by a long-distance phone call. We have lunch plans for tomorrow. Soon, we will both live in the new apartment.

Today, I make time to enjoy Tahitian Vanilla Bean gelato and a lemon cookie. Today, I splurge on some unhealthy desserts that are completely worth it!

Today, I set myself in front of a blank screen and I write. I aim to meet my weekly Monday deadline to write a blog. I am a writer. I may be an unpaid amateur, but I don’t care. Writing is what I love doing, and what I will continue doing, as long as my fingers can type or hold a pen.

Today, I enjoy the moments of the day. I understand being free of worries. My recent actions have helped me to start moving towards my future goals. I am in the process of packing my belongings and in five weeks I will be moving into a new apartment.

I am taking actions to meet my goals. I am finding joy in every moment. I am finding myself.

Back to the past: Time Traveling

13 Sep 2015 Leave a comment

by writerundle in awareness, Greece, journey, moving, retro, time travel, travel Tags: awareness, Greece, journey, moving, retro, time travel, travel

Packing up my life in boxes is bittersweet. First, it is a chore, the kind that you procrastinate about starting. It’s not a simple task.

I am only six weeks away from my moving date. Knowing that I have a moving date on my calendar is beyond comprehension; it feels real and surreal at the same time.

Looking back at the past I have textbooks from college, children’s books from when I was a pre-school teacher, and young adult books I read as a high school teacher to converse with my students about the latest literary releases. I have books galore. All of these are coming with me.

Boxes, Boxes, boxes. You know the cardboard boxes that are never opened, but shuffled from one apartment to the next, filled with memories, notebooks from classes, and your writings. You couldn’t bear to look through them, but you also couldn’t imagine getting rid of them. Each of these boxes is part and parcel of who we are.

Symphony at Lakeside, Ohio

Ohio State Buckeyes football fall 2006

Shoeboxes full of relationship mementos. Your relationship has endured so long that you have filled several boxes and you keep starting new ones. Each box contains a few years of history. Each box has mementos, concert tickets, wedding and baby shower invites, movie stubs, and one even contains the corsage from your high school senior prom. Long distance love letters from college and birthday cards are in their own box.

More recently the box has obituaries, medical bracelets from your visits, and writings that are only partially written. More recently, work intruded with your time with friends and dates with your boyfriend. The dark clouds took up residence for too long. Writing was the moment in the recent past where you triggered happiness back into your life.

Finally you have acquired international mementos from three trips to Europe, including your favorites which you would love to plan a return visit: Switzerland and Greece. A new box needs to be established as you move on to new chapters of your life. God willing, more positivity will fill the next box.

But the childhood and college mementos are who we are. That is the time in my life I knew who I was the best. Before jobs and responsibilities divided our lives into scheduled moments I said “yes” to everything I had an interest in. Freedom allowed that discovery.

The Daily Commute

24 Aug 2015 1 Comment

by writerundle in awareness, journey, The Daily Commute, travel Tags: awareness, journey, The Daily Commute, travel

I commuted almost 60 miles to my very first teaching job. The opportunity to have my own classroom outweighed the travel time. It was three counties north from where I was currently living. For over four weeks I made that journey; in a single month I confirmed that I wanted to move into this new community. There was no way I was driving 120 miles daily for an entire school year.

A few afternoons I rushed around to three different apartments that I had been told were in safe areas. All of them were slightly south of my new high school’s address. One apartment that I toured was up one of the steepest hills in the area; I knew that this place was out of the running because during a winter storm it would have been a death trap trying to go up or down this road. A second apartment I tried to tour just wouldn’t answer the phone after 4pm. Essentially we played phone tag and never had a conversation. I toured the place through their on-line photographs, and I remember the faux-gold chandelier in the dining room looked tacky. So, this place was off the list.

I was running out of time. It was already October, and I wanted to be moved into the area before the snow fell. Finally, after leaving two messages, the third apartment’s landlord called me back. After I told her where I worked, she informed me she was the sister-in-law of one the school administrators. The next day I looked at the apartment. Then I drove home through three counties.

There isn’t much to contemplate when you find the place that suits you. The community had quiet hours. As a teacher, I needed my sleep, so that was a plus. The building that was available was a non-smoking building. This suited me; I hate the smell of smoke because I am a non-smoker. To seal the deal, each apartment had a patio. The apartment I would move into had a view of the lake and its wildlife. I am a nature lover.

The apartment I chose has been my home for almost 8 years. Now, I find myself on the road again. I have been job searching and interviewing. All the while I am exploring new corners of the area that I grew up in. Apartment searching is always the final step, and I am so pleased that I am once again at this step. It’s time to leave the voice mails and emails and get the property managers of these possible apartments to let me inside. It’s time to find my sanctuary.

Each day we commute to our worksite. Even if I was able to make a living as a freelance writer, there is no way I would be a housebound hermit. True, maybe the “daily commute” for some is simply a few steps from the bed to the computer or the “home office.” Sometimes it is easier to stay in, make meals for yourself, and wear pajamas. Easier yes, but you aren’t a part of the world. A writer needs to write about the world, write about others’ stories and go on adventures so that her own story is a journey of discovery in two important ways. She needs to share her external journey around the world and the internal journey inside her mind. You have to be brave enough to trek into the world. It’s time to find my next home and go on my next journey.

Write, Edit, Repeat.

Travel Tips: The Four Truths about Travel

18 Aug 2015 3 Comments

by writerundle in awareness, Greece, travel, travel tips Tags: awareness, Greece, travel, travel tips

1. Eat the local cuisine.

Greek food will always be best when you are in Greece. It is the same for any style of food; you are at the origin of the recipes themselves, and you are often closer than ever to the location of the ingredients used in each dish. Farm to table takes on a new meaning when you get to see where the components of the local food come from: the farm, the forest, and the sea. For some, this is the main reason that they travel.

You traveled all this distance; you owe it to yourself to try the local foods. The local specialties will never be prepared the same if you try to re-create them by eating at an ethnic restaurant or trying your own hand at making them. Sometimes the cooking process is so unusual that it adds an extra flavor; in Greece meals are traditionally baked in a woodfired oven. Other regions might use a cooking pit or a spit to slowly roast the food.

2. Be a respectful visitor.

Any effort to speak the language will go a long way. Make an effort to learn basic conversational phrases. It will come in especially helpful to know the words for hello, goodbye, please, and thank you. Also learn the questions you will need to repeatedly ask, such as “where is the bathroom” and “how do you say…” to learn additional words when you have trouble translating your thoughts.

Treat others as you would want to be treated. Treat others with kindness. You know this as the Golden Rule. Just remember, when you are traveling, what matters the most is that you realize you are a citizen of the globe, and we all deserve to live in harmony. Express your gratitude to those who assist you.

3. Don’t pass up an opportunity.

When you are a part of a group, go on all the planned excursions. You will learn a lot. If you have free time, go into local museums and into local places of worship. Ask questions, take pictures, and leave only footprints. If you are able to, you might get a chance to take a short train ride, or rent a car and go on your own mini-trip to a different area of the town or even visit another county. The Nike slogan is appropriate: Just do it.

It might be the only time in your life that you will visit the location. Make every moment count. Be open to unplanned travel. Pack a small bag and go exploring. Sometimes the best adventures are unexpected.

4. Travel is difficult.

Prior to your travel, you should start exercising more, especially walking. You will be doing a great deal of stair-climbing and walking on your trip. Give yourself a day to adjust to your jet-lag. Try to plan low-key activities for the first day and allow room to fit in a small nap. Don’t drink alcohol on your flights; drink water instead.

Traveling is exhausting and time-consuming. The arrival and departure, especially when you travel to a more remote area, will take even more time than expected. Allow enough time to make your flight connections. Stand up and walk around when you get the opportunity. Walk around the airport. If you can afford to, upgrade to business class.

Rest when you are tired. If near a beach, you could take a catnap at the beach. Listen to your body and choose activities that you have the endurance to enjoy. Be aware of your surroundings. Awareness will keep you safe and you will vividly remember what you experienced.

Have an amazing journey! Make it your own!

Allegheny College Changed My Life

11 Aug 2015 Leave a comment

by writerundle in Allegheny College, Allegheny Gators, Colleges that change lives, travel Tags: Allegheny College, Allegheny Gators, colleges that change lives, ctcl, travel

Traveling across the state line of Pennsylvania, I fell in love with the landscape and I knew that this would be the journey to my future college town. What pushed me to visit Allegheny College was an impressive brochure that arrived in my mailbox showing the trees in their autumn glory. The vivid colors convinced me to give Meadville a chance. My parents were swayed by the interior text containing the necessary demographics and several students’ comments on their choice of college.

As a student, I would love the constant slope of the land. Never flat for long, movement at Allegheny College was as challenging as the academics. It was often an uphill struggle to be rewarded later by a brief amble downhill. I would even love it when it rained and it was muddy. There was a new challenge every day. Each day as a student was worth it, pushing me to excel, preparing me for my future full of possibilities.

I walked along paths bordered by old growth trees to reach the academic halls and I trekked through a thick forest to attend tennis practices. The campus was formed around the existing landscape, not bulldozed into one flat tract of concrete real estate.

I needed inspiration to study English. I needed to hear the leaves rustling in the breeze when the semester began, gently falling in the autumn, crunching under my feet as I made my way to class, and the wind whistling through the barren trees when the snow started. I needed to see the full evolution of the Meadville trees; it was my personal metaphor for re-birth. Allegheny’s mature trees stood tall and gave me shade.

Allegheny’s nature had me hooked.

Returning to Allegheny College for my 10-year reunion

Allegheny’s tennis courts hidden in the forest

I made the choice because of the lack of proximity to my hometown. Yes, you heard me right. I wanted to go far away, but not too far away. I didn’t want my parents popping by my dorm room on a moment’s notice like I knew they would if I attended school in Columbus, Ohio. Why would I go away to college in the same county I grew up in? That would have been too familiar and too easy. I needed a change of scenery. A four hour drive ensured that I would have not only my privacy, but also my freedom. College is about our freedom to choose what we study and who we will become as adults. Allegheny College was the college that changed my life.

writerundle